Week Without Violence
October 17 to 23, 2011
Abuse isn’t always black and blue:
See the signs and help stop emotional violence against women.
Every October, YWCAs across Canada mark Week Without Violence, a national week of violence prevention.
YWCA Metro Vancouver’s 2011 Week Without Violence campaign, called Abuse isn’t always black and blue: See the signs and help stop emotional violence against women, focuses on how to identify and support women in emotionally abusive relationships.
How can you help?
Find us on Facebook and Twitter to learn how you can support YWCA Metro Vancouver’s Week Without Violence.
- Download the poster.
- Download the thumbnail for your Facebook profile. (Save image to your computer and upload as your profile picture.)
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse progressively destroys another person’s sense of self, ultimately diminishing their identity, dignity and self-worth.
Because there are no physical scars and reporting rates are low, emotional abuse is not easily detected. However, it is the most prevalent and destructive of all forms of violence. Research shows victims of emotional abuse can experience greater trauma from ongoing emotional abuse than from infrequent physical assault.
What does emotional abuse look like?
Emotional abuse comes in various forms, including:
- Degradation – Constantly referring to the other person as stupid or worthless
- Blaming – Accusing the other person repeatedly for everything that goes wrong
- Humiliation – Publicly insulting and ridiculing the other person
- Harassment – Continually following, contacting and keeping tabs on the other person
- Isolation – Restricting normal contact with friends and family
- Neglect – Denying a person emotional care and interaction
- Exploitation – Using the other person for personal gain
- Threats
What are the signs?
- Isolation from friends and family
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of depression
- Decreased social interaction
- Increased anxiety
- Guilt and shame
- Mood swings
- Distrust
- Frequently blaming others
- Self-blaming
- Pessimistic behaviour
- Substance or drug abuse
- Extreme dependence on others
- Lying
- Aggression
- Emotional instability
- Suicidal thoughts
Do you see the signs? Fill out survey.
What you can do
If you are being abused:
- Remember, you are not alone
- Talk to someone you trust
Find information on leaving an abusive relationship.
If you know someone who is being abused:
- Believe her
- Let her know she is not alone
- Tell her the abuse is not her fault
- Tell her you value her as a person
- Read and collect information to pass on to her
- Talk about her choices and help her develop a safety plan
- Provide a place for your friend and her children to stay in bad times
- Help her find housing if she plans to leave
- Show that you believe in her and her ability to deal with change
It is important to remember:
- Don’t tell her what to do, when to leave or when not to leave
- Don’t push her before she is ready
- Don’t make her feel bad for staying
- Don’t tell her to go back to the situation
- Don’t tell her to stay for the sake of the children
- Don’t be angry with her if she does decide to go back. Many women go back to abusive situations before they finally leave
- Don’t talk to her partner about it
Speak out against abuse. Be an active bystander
When trying to stop abusive relationships, we often focus on the victim, because we feel helpless to change the abuser. But connecting with the abuser is just as important to end the cycle of abuse. If we look the other way we are simply bystanders.
Find tips and tools on how you can be an active bystander and support someone being emotionally abused.
YWCA Metro Vancouver programs and services to help abused women
- Munroe House is a second-stage transition house for women and their children who have left abusive relationships.
- The Children Who Witness Abuse program is offered at Munroe house and uses one-to-one counselling, workshops and art/play therapy to help children identify their feelings and express them in a healthy way.
- The Violence Outreach Program at YWCA Crabtree Corner, located in the Downtown Eastside, provides support for women who experience violence in their relationships.
- The Legal Education Program offers one-to-one legal support, education on a wide range of legal topics and provides specific resources and referrals.
Helpful links
Psychological Abuse: A Discussion Paper, from the Government of Canada
Responding to Emotional Abuse: How You Can Help Someone You Know
Commonly asked questions about violence against women
